Back to School and German kids

My Swedish is bad. It's like Tarzan with a speech impediment. Learning it makes me feel like a premenstrual woman! For fleeting moments I feel I'm on top of the world. I'm learning Swedish, how amazing! Then I suddenly feel I'm a helpless baby in a strange country and it's all going down the pan.


I went to the Arbetsförmedlingen (job centre) today. The receptionist there said I spoke good Swedish. Of course she was just humouring me - being nice to the struggling Englishman etc.. But that small gesture was enough to make me bloody jubilant!


Right now I'm sitting in the public library at a small table complete with PCs and German kids playing computer games. What could I do but follow suit? So I decided to start playing this and put off my Swedish homework for the time being. Quite fun isn't it? But that homework's still there in my bag, waiting for me.....

Now one of the young kids has started humming "In the Club" by Danny and is murmuring "Prepare to die, bitch" under his breath as he slaughters some pixelated perpretrator. Well, at least he's being quiet. It IS a library you know. I'm more worried about the song. Just listen:

Monstrous how we corrupt our children, eh?

Melodifestivalen Final finds an Elated Eric

So exactly how big was the Melodifestivalen final this year? Well, only the most powerful politician in Sweden was there! Oh yes. You guessed it. The Statsminister (Prime Minister) was in the audience! Can you imagine that happening in the U.K? The press would tear him to pieces...


But after all the hype the end result was disappointing. Despite all the decent competition it was Eric Sade that won with Popular. Popular with teenage girls perhaps. Glance over this tripe:


Stop, don't say that it's impossible, cos I know it's possible.


My body wants you girl, my body wants you girl.


That's a taste of some of the lyrics from the victorious song. To appreciate the true horror watch this:

Young Eric got glass in his eye after those walls surrounding him (made of glass) exploded. This caused his absence for a camera shot. Suffer for your 'art', eh?  In England Health and Safety would demand the exploding walls be made of Styrofoam and that Eric wear goggles and a hard hat. 

A pleasant surprise came, oddly enough, from those that weren't competing. Swedish hair-rock band Dynazty were the entertainment while the votes were being counted:

It's like they got stuck in a time tunnel from 1983, isn't it? I thought it was a joke at first. But I looked them up and they're real! Bloody good singer isn't he? I would've picked them over Eric bloomin' Sade  any day!

Eurovision

Eurovision here is a BIG deal. 


Weeks and weeks of prime-time Saturday night television is dedicated to the run-up show in which Sweden chooses its Eurovision gladiator. This show is called Melodifestivalen. It's a LONG process. It's a huge  monster of a  tournament. I haven't got a clue how it all works. We're repeatedly shown a many-branched tournament 'flow chart' showing the combatants and the snail-like progress towards Sweden's final victor. This basically involves watching the same songs multiple times. 


CDs of Melodifestivalen are now on sale (I saw one in the supermarket). Songs from  Melodifestivalen are frequently played on Swedish radio. Artists involved get a lot of exposure. It's something positive for their career. It's not like the UK where everybody thinks you're a loser if you do Eurovision.  


This is one of the songs that made it through: 

Very Eurovision, eh? Check out the shirt-change in the dark. Nice. He looks a bit like a cult member in that getup doesn't he? If he is I hope the cult is as bouncy and happy as his performance (and doesn't condone mass murder). I have to admit I quite like it, especially the high bit when he shouts " And I cannot get enough!"


Here's another finalist:

When she goes for the high part in the chorus I always imagine her shouting SUUUUPERMAN!!!! She doesn't though. Shame.


The final of Melodifestivalen is this Saturday. Finally! Imagine the uproar if, after all this, the Swedish candidate doesn't even get into Eurovision! Well, that's exactly what happened last year. After weeks and weeks of national selection in Melodifestivalen, Europe didn't even let Sweden into the main competition! What did the winner of Melodifestivalen actually win? What was it all for? That year Sweden broadcast Eurovision artists' commiserations to the would-be Swedish representative. The palpable disappointment even found its way into the headlines of national newspapers. I remember feeling a twinge of disappointment myself. Well, it was sad... OKAY!!!?!?!?!


Let's just hope they get in this year!