Swedish for Immigrants: The Good, the Bad and the Annoying

I'm taking the Swedish for Immigrants (S.F.I) course. And it's a little strange.


We immigrants are certainly a disparate group. But the one thing that binds us together is the inescapable need to learn this weird and wonderful language.


There are Columbians, Thais, Germans, English, Czechnians and Somalis. We all keep to our corners (naturally). It's a boxing championship for recognition and self esteem, and the awards are handed out by the all-powerful teacher. Classic classroom tactics to get the teacher's attention include:


1. Shouting out the answer to someone else's question.


2. Shouting out the answer to someone else's question first 


3. Shouting out random answers until you get the right one (one student in particular does this all the time. She seems to think she'll win a prize).


4. Shouting.


5. Telling the teacher that you love him or her (yes, this happened. Kissing arse methinks...)


6. Throwing in clever remarks (as casually as possible) to prompt a gratifying response from the teacher.

We're all back in school and regression is rife. We know less than Swedish children and learn far slower. Many students seek the cocaine of encouragement. Insecure and needing support, they vie for Teacher's attention.  I myself decided to shout out an answer to steal some recognition. Please say I'm good. Please say I'm improving!!!! I shouted loud enough to make damn sure I was heard above all the other shouters. Of course, I was completely and utterly wrong. And everyone could hear me. Embarrassing. 

'Shouters' can cause problems. For instance, shouters often mispronounce words. They drown out the teacher's correct pronunciation with their incorrect one. But, amazingly, some students think they know best when it comes to pronunciation. There's one bloke from Sri Lanka who's chosen to boycott a teacher because he concentrates specifically on pronunciation. Boycott Boy says he doesn't need that kind of schooling. Needless to say,  pronunciation is of utmost important in Swedish. Stress the wrong part of a word and a Swede may not understand you at all. In my opinion, Boycott Boy is missing a valuable lesson. But then, he does seem a total plonker...

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