Culture Shock

I think most English-speaking immigrants in Sweden fall into two categories:

1. Those who live in a monolingual bubble

2. Those who engage and learn about the language and culture

I am in the second category, but I am starting to take a more charitable view of the first category. The first category may find it easier to retain their confidence and sense of self. They are securely 'grounded' by holding fast to the language they've always spoken: English. It feels safer to stick to what you know. It's less confusing.

I am learning all the time, yet I am in a constant state of confusion and flux. I don't know anything for sure. The ground under my feet is constantly shifting. Once you speak Swedish and start engaging, you quickly discover how little you know or understand, both about the language and the culture. You're in constant overload. 

But the first category only get the 'tourist' version of Sweden. They can't read or discuss in Swedish, so they are always distanced. They force the international language onto the Swedes, and in response the Swedes become the 'international' version of themselves. The worldly, English-speaking version. The local cultural dialogue cannot take root in these conditions. It is not an equal exchange.

This week I have been tempted just to give up. The Winter darkness is wearing me down and I want comfort. Security. Ease. And as I struggle I sometimes feel like my head is going to explode.

But that is the price you pay to deal with Swedes on their own level. And when they see you trying, they let you in. 

I'll probably feel better about it all when the Spring comes!